As Straight As Cooked Spaggetti
by Shadow Danzer
Summary: -M for reason. Romance at a streach. Smut is better. YAOI- Deidara always gets what he wants and this time his sites are set on a certain Uchiha. "You ever seen cooked spaggetti?"


**Just a story to get the pairing out of my head, I'm really sorry to all those waiting for story updates but I don't have the heart to write. I really don't. I try but if you force it…then it's horrible. I wont make empty promises. I'll just do what I can. Lastly thanks to S3v3rusIsMin3 for putting up with the mess…there, their, they're and where, were, we're wear…. Ah grammar…so not my friend. ANYWAY I don't own naruto but it would rock if I did…then I could make the characters do dirty things.**

_Later, Itachi would blame it on the sake. Sake and Deidara's…well, charms doesn't seem like the right word but the blond could be very…persuasive, when he found something he wanted. But the blame game comes later. At the end of the story, for this to make sense we have to go to the beginning of this story. To a sleepless night that found Itachi relaxing on the three seater couch with his fourth bottle of sake already half empty._

"Can't sleep hn?" The Uchiha glanced at Deidara who stood smirking at the end of the couch.

"No." The blond gave a small smirk before sitting on the other end of the couch, drawing his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Gold hair fell across his face and the look was so feminine that Itachi's dick twitched ever so slightly, "I must be totally smashed to say this, but when you first joined us I thought you were a girl," he could just make out Deidara's sapphire eyes, sparkling in the half light, "you're almost too pretty to be a guy" This time he did see Deidara's smirk, a dark look that reminded him of the face street whores showed him.

"Thank you, hn." Itachi suddenly felt too hot, the conversation was entering dangerous waters and he didn't want a part of it.

"So how come you're out here?" Deidara shrugged, and his hair seemed to catch each bit of light, shining as if it was woven from gold.

"Hidan and Kakuzu were keeping me up, hn"

"Are they fighting again?" Deidara's eyes sparkled with amusement.

"If you want to call it that, yeah" The comment took a moment to sink into his sake fuzzed mind, but then the pieces clicked into place.

"Gross! Hidan's a fudge packer?" Now Deidara's eyes positively shined. Unknown to the Uchiha he had become the latest object of Deidara's attention, and when Deidara decided he was going to have someone, nothing stopped him.

"Well actually I think it's Kakuzu who's dom." Itachi could feel the blood leaving his face.

"That's just disgusting." Deidara shifted, and Itachi could just make out a faint trail of blond hair that traced just above his silk boxers.

"Come on hn. You can't tell me you've never tried it. Never thought about it hn." Itachi shook his head.

"I'm straight. Completely, totally, straight." This comment made his companion smirk.

"Sounds like your scared hn. What's the matter? Worried you'll like it hn?" For a moment Itachi could only stare in shock.

"Deidara, are you gay?" The blond smirked.

"I'm about as straight as cooked spaghetti, hn."

"But…but…I saw you with that girl yesterday." The blond stretched, lifting his arms above his head, causing the tank top to ride up ever so slightly.

"You ever eaten spaghetti, Itachi? I'm not straight, I'm not gay. I'm in that lovely grey area in the middle, hn." Itachi was sure his mouth was hanging open but he couldn't shut it. Suddenly at a loss, he downed the rest of his bottle and opened the next one. He felt very vulnerable, with one leg resting on the floor and the other up on the couch. As he reclined he was suddenly very much aware of the fact Deidara could see his entire body, as well as the outline of his cock through the not so lose pants. Before he could move the blond was reaching across him, almost lying over his lap to reach the sake bottle.

Silky hair brushed along his bare chest and stomach. His nose was suddenly full of the smell of Deidara's shampoo. Unlike all the girls he had slept with, the blond didn't smell of fruit, or flowers, or any other such thing, he just smelt clean. The sake bottle was taken from his hand and he watched, mesmerised, as Deidara's adam's apple moved with each swallow. The image was strangling arousing, causing his dick to twitch slightly. The blond smiled at him through a golden fringe.

"So you've never tried it, hn. Never even thought about it?" Itachi could only mutely shake his head, "you know what, hn. I reckon you're scared you might enjoy it, hn." Speechless, Itachi shook his head, muttering under his breath something about being a man, and straight, "then why don't you prove me wrong, hn?" He stared at the blond who was suddenly far too close, he was getting lost in blue eyes that seemed lit with a hot flame.

"You look like a girl." He was blabbering and he knew it but it was all so strange to him, like a dream. Deidara placed a single hand on Itachi's silk boxer clad thigh.

"If you want me to be yeah." For a moment he could have sworn it was a female that lay in his lap. With long hair that tickled across his bare chest, "come on Itachi-kun, what have you got to lose? Everyone's tried it at least once"

Deidara was pulling a look not dissimilar to a puppy face. Huge eyes, delicate features and blond hair.

"Okay" the word had hardly left his mouth before Deidara was kissing him. It was similar to kissing a girl and yet different. Deidara kissed him lightly, coaxing him into a reaction and as Itachi began to get the hang of it, the kiss became more forceful, more possessive until they pulled apart slowly.

"Your gonna have to trust me hn. This is gonna hurt, but I promise you now it'll be worth it hn." Itachi could only nod as Deidara moved down his body, fingers moving lightly as those bright blue eyes continued to stare into his. It was as unnerving as it was arousing then those long fingers, so skilled at moulding clay, slipped under his boxers dragging them over his hips and exposing his member to the feel of Deidara's silky hair.

The blond finally removed the black silk and smirked up at Itachi. This time when his hands traced up Itachi's legs he lay his palms against the skin, for Itachi it was heaven. It was almost as if two people were trailing soft kisses up his legs, spreading them wider as his lust and sake hazed mind surrendered its control. It was quite the image that Deidara made, long hair falling like water around his face, opened like a stage curtain to give him front row seats. He could only watch as Deidara's lips opened sliding down his length. If the visual wasn't enough, the feeling of it might have been. Suddenly Deidara's eyes met his and he could have sworn he was smirking. The sudden sucking on his dick made Itachi's neck go weak and his head rolled back on the couch.

"Oh fuck." The blond hummed and Itachi nearly came undone on the spot. Male or not, Deidara was giving him easily one of the best blow jobs of his life. He groaned, the sounds turning into a strangled cry as Deidara did something that only he was capable of doing on his own.

As his head bobbed on Itachi's length, he raised one hand, and the tongue on his palm flickered out, tracing the sensitive skin there which caused Itachi to buck forwards, lifting off the couch. Deidara could feel his balls tensing, he was seconds off. Humming slightly deeper and taking more of the Uchiha into his mouth he slid a finger into Itachi. Itachi made a sound somewhere between a muffled scream and a strangled groan as he came, but Deidara didn't stop, even as the raven haired man thrust instinctively into his mouth, he slid another finger. Finally, unable to distract him further he let Itachi's dick slide from his mouth.

"Hurts" muttered Itachi, still half delirious. The blond pressed both fingers further, scissoring them as Itachi's hips trembled.

"I know un"

Deidara was lathering his own length as he searched, waiting for the moment-

"SHIT" hissed Itachi.

'_Found it_' another finger was slipped him, stretching him as Deidara trailed opened mouth kisses along his length, rousing it easily.

"Hold onto something un" The raven haired man gripped at Deidara's shoulders as the blond, lent over him. His fingers slipped out and with no further warning Deidara slammed his full length into Itachi, hitting with perfect accuracy, his prostate, the raven hair man bit his lip to prevent himself from screaming.

"Fuck." Deidara didn't say a word and rested there for a moment. His bright blue eyes focussed entirely onto Itachi's face. Then he shifted, pulling back slowly, pressing forward at the same agonising speed.

Two hands with wicked mouths, traced up and down his side, one sliding along his length and he cried out into the blond's hair. _Who would have thought that his hand mouths could deep throat? _Deidara's rhythm changed now. Pounding, hard and fast; pinning Itachi between his hand and his hips, the blond thrusts without rest. For Itachi it was too much. A sensory overload. A mouth on his groin, a mouth on his neck and a dick in his arse, any sound Itachi may have made as he came were silenced as Deidara kissed him. Until he too was spent, collapsing across the Uchiha's chest.

He smirked up to the sharingan.

"Told you you'd like it un." Itachi could only nod sleepily as they parted, and his weary limbs carried him back to his room where he collapsed against his bed, only to become aware of the throbbing in his arse.

~*~

"You fucked him didn't you?" Itachi jumped at Kisame's question.

"What makes you think that?" The shark like man laughed.

"Deidara's been after you for the last month and now he's ignoring you. He got what he want and now he's moved on." Itachi was shocked, "don't feel bad, he's fucked everyone here, some even more than once." The raven haired man watched as the blond danced around Sasori. The red head seeming to ignore him.

"Does he always go back to Sasori?" Kisame nodded, "why does Sasori take him back if he knows what he does" Kisame shrugged.

"Because Sasori doesn't care. He doesn't want a relationship; he just wants Deidara to be ready when he wants him. After that he doesn't give a fuck." Itachi watched as the pair moved down the corridor. A solid hand rested on his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it Itachi. You're good looking enough that anyone would want you."

"Your looks really bother you don't they?" Kisame only shrugged and offered a wry smile.


End file.
